Let Kate Gosslin Dance! She’s has 8 kids to support!

by Lian on March 23, 2010

Please don't make me go home and face all those kids!

Please don't make me go home and face all those kids!

There, I said it. I think everyone needs to back-off reality TV personality ( I refuse to follow the words “reality TV” with the words “star” or “celebrity”) Kate Gosselin for taking a gig on Dancing With The Stars. She is a single mom with 8 kids and an ex-husband who is not exactly Mr. Child Support. That mom has got to work. And Dancing With the Stars is as good a job as any!

I have spoken/written about Kate Gosselin exactly once on The Chaos Chronicles. Back before the big divorce, I tuned in to see what all the fuss was about on Jon & Kate Plus 8. Lots of friends had told me how much they enjoyed the show. I had stayed away because I grew up in a  house with 8 kids. I didn’t need a TV show to help me relive my childhood as the family punching bag and the target of taunts and unflattering nicknames by my older siblings. No hard feelings, but why go back there?  As an observer of culture and the media, I did watch a couple of episodes to understand the attention.

Here’s what I said at the time: Kids shouldn’t work. That’s the parents job. And kids shouldn’t be on TV because that is not normal or healthy.

I’ve never mentioned Kate, Jon, the divorce, the hair extensions, the law suits, or the unending media coverage again. I have no feelings about Kate personally. Nor do I want to speculate about her motive for taking this job: money or fame.

But I have stick up for Kate now. She is taking a lot of heat for even being on Dancing with the Stars! ( As opposed to taking heat for her actual performance last night which was…  painful.)   “Go home and take care of your kids,”  is the frequent blog comment attached to any article about Kate and DWTS.  At the doctors office today, I whipped through about 8 celeb culture mags and the hate pouring down on Kate is thick.  But, what is she supposed to do? She is a single mom with 8 kids and I think  in the case of single parents “taking care of your kids” means going out and getting a job.   She may be the most notorious single mom on the block– oh, wait, that’s Octomom!– but she still has to work to earn money to afford 8 kids.  (Again, I speak from experience; 8 kids gets expensive even if you don’t have an extravagant lifestyle.) My guess is that a short-lived cable show has not rendered Kate “set for life,” probably not even set for one year of life with that many kids.

Kate knows what she has to do: she’s gotta put on her dancing shoes.

I’m always frustrated by the attitude that working is always an “option” for mothers.  Actually,  in this economy, it’s a necessity for a majority of mothers, whether they are married or not. As economist Elizabeth Warren points out in her fantastic book The Two Income Trap,  a common misconception about working mothers is that they trade off time with their kids to afford luxuries like fancy cars and vacations. No quite, says Warren who has done the research, instead of simply the mudslinging. Parents are working to afford housing in a safe neighborhood with good schools. Where’s is the fault in that? And, if you are a single parent, work is not optional at all, even to afford the most basic housing and educational needs.

Sure,  it would be easy to point fingers at Kate and say that you should only have the kids you can afford- but frankly, it’s a little too late for that discussion. Though one worth having in your own home if your thinking about going big with your family! In the meantime, there are 8 kids who are going to have lots of financial needs over the next decade.

I will always support the idea that a parent has got to do what they have to do to support a family. (Except, of course,  illegal activity  or anything involved in the manufacturing of collectible plush toys that people put on their dashboards.) So I say, dance, Kate , dance.

But don’t get used to the warm weather, Kate. Because after that waltz, you may be back in the Granite State shortly.  As a DWTS watcher, I believe Kate shares the same issue as former contestant Heather Mills: a divided voting block. When people don’t like you, they don’t vote for you. Ask Heather.

Embracing my Chaos, Lian



Kerry March 29, 2010 at 8:00 AM

For the love of mike … let Kate alone! I am and have been a big fan of Kate’s since day one of their TLC show. SomeONE needs to be the responsible one. I so enjoy watching her & NICEY!

Mari (Bookworm with a View) March 28, 2010 at 6:07 AM

BTW, I watch the show and love when a marathon is on. I put the TV on in the bedroom and it keeps my dog happy for hours. She loves watching the kids screaming, the louder/crazier the show the more interested she is.

You have to see it to believe it but she loves to watch TV (animals and kids are her favorite).

Mari (Bookworm with a View) March 28, 2010 at 6:04 AM

I’m not a Kate fan but looking back on the show we might understand why she was so bossy with Jon (he’s wreakless). It’s hard to judge until I have spent a day/week living her life – I can’t imagine how challenging it must be to raise 8 kids for the first few years. I agree with you Lian, Go Kate – do what you need to do to make a living. My only advise would be to always take the high road, show people you are above what happened in 2009. This is the only way the Kate haters will start to respect her (they don’t have to like her).

My husband hated Kated for years but now he’s in her camp (didn’t know he watched the show, until I caught him one day). HA

Lian March 24, 2010 at 6:55 AM

Interesting to me that we have a Team Kate quorum! Maybe Kate will get more votes than I thought!

I’m not saying you have to vote for her– but she has a right to get work where she can. And TV is full of working mom actresses, so I’m not sure where the vitriol comes from when it comes to Kate appearing on the show.

Good comments. Fun to read. Lian

Debbie in Bethesda March 24, 2010 at 1:28 AM

I’m with you on this one re: Team Kate. As one other CC person said, I just read that her dance partner is going back to PA with her for practicing so she only has to be away from her kids for a short-time. As a single parent in a good occupation myself, I don’t know what I would do to support 8 kids while away from home. Even though the kids are in school now, you couldn’t afford aftercare for all 8 and certainly not an at-home caregiver on a full-time nurses salary, so she needs a job with flexible hours. She is clearly estranged from any family that might help.

So even though she was not the best dancer in the world, I do hope she stays in for at least a few weeks. Who knows how long she will stay, but it does give her exposure that might help in getting another flexible job. And I would certainly prefer her over Elizabeth Hasselbeck on The View as the resident mom. I saw Elizabeth on a skating show the other day and watching it was painful, and after 10 years I stopped watching The View because I couldn’t take her anymore.

Susan in Iowa March 23, 2010 at 6:28 PM

Does she have to be such a “crank”? She comes across as so “crabby”- I know she has a lot of responsibility – we all do!

Denise March 23, 2010 at 4:04 PM

The 5 Gosselin girls could be the future Satellite Sisters.

Tammy March 23, 2010 at 4:00 PM

I am also with Team Kate on this one.

For one thing – she has spent the 3 weeks practicing in her basement so that she CAN be with her children and I believe intends to continue to be practicing from there as long as she lasts on the show.

And the second thing……I heard her speak about the “making money thing” recently and I had to appreciate how much she really had thought it through. I would imagine that she could work 10 hrs a day/ 4-5 days a week as a nurse for what she will make on this show. I know what I would choose.

The third thing…..her kids are already out there. I don’t know that her going into hiding at this point is the right answer. Would I have done it differently from the beginning – probably – by 20/20 hindsight is a great thing. All she can do is move forward with what she has.

Hmmmmm, didn’t know I had though this much about all this. But my advice to her would be – Find a mijo to hold the Chihuaha ‘cuz I’m goin in!!!

kbradcliffe March 23, 2010 at 3:52 PM

Not a Kate fan, but damn, I know what happens when parents don’t take responsibility and do what they have to to take care of their children. Darn social work career….I cannot say I will embrace Kate, as a person, but I support her as a mom to do what she has to do for her kiddos.

Natalie March 23, 2010 at 2:45 PM

Ok, I’m very much on the fence on this. I believe it was John Grogan, the author of “Marley & Me”, who put together a book of his editorials from when he worked at a major Philadelphia newspaper. In this book he speaks to Jon and Kate Gosselin and how she was suing the state of Pennsylvania for dropping them from support when the babies were really little. The state had paid for her to have helpers, but at a certain age, they were no longer going to provide that support for them, as I recall. So Kate sued the state and apparently was very nasty about it in the media.

I watched the show with my girls, because one of our friends said that I reminded her of Kate. I, too, wanted to understand what it was all about. When I watched it and saw how horribly she treated her husband, on one episode literally ordering him where to go and what to do, loudly, in a public place, I was appalled that I was being compared to this woman. When I inquired of the friend who made the comparison, she said she meant that I resembled her in terms of organization and all the things I do with my girls. I have never treated my husband in the manner in which Kate treated Jon and, if I did, I would fully expect to be in divorce court.

So, as you can see, not a lot of love lost for Kate, as I think she has brought her circumstances upon herself. I do commend that she is out there trying to earn a living to support her kids rather than relying on public assistance and I’m glad that she is now keeping the children off screen. I’m not a DWTS fan though and don’t watch the show, so I won’t be casting my vote for her or anyone else for that matter.

Lisa Paul March 23, 2010 at 1:41 PM

Thank you Lian for sticking up for Kate. I’ve been on the fence about her, but I am watching (and voting) for the first time ever b/c of her. I want her to stay on as long as possible for the biggest paycheck possible. Even though I think she brings some of the haterade on herself, most of it is undeserved. I love it when moms stick together, so I am on Team Kate.

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