Tis the season for all those school projects to get turned in. The “semester long” combo platters of maps/food/calculations/iMovies/dramatic readings/costumed monologues that invariably get done the week they are due. The dreaded Group Projects that sound so good at the beginning of the year that become a scheduling nightmare around the due date. But in the midst of all the Chaos, one person stands out: The Project Mom!
A tip of the hat to all you Project Moms out there! You know who you are: you’re the ones with endless patience, organizational skills and a glue gun. You have a ready supply of snacks, construction paper and the generosity to give up your weekends and after- school hours for the benefit of other people’s kids’ grade. While the teachers may assign and the kids may turn them in, it’s you, Project Mom that gets the job done.
Which Project Mom are you?
Top Chef Project Mom You excel at quickfires and elimination challenges. You don’t blink an eye when Junior arrives home on Tuesday and announces that “a vegetarian dish from Turkey” is due in class on Wednesday. You have a ready supply of cutting boards, wooden spoons and the good will to schlep to the store, buy the ingredients and oversee the “cooking” by 7th graders who have no interest in food prep. You plate like Top Chef, even if you don’t look like Padma. Please pack your knives, Top Chef Project Mom, and head to the top of the class.
Dancing with the Stars Project Mom Yes, teaching the kids to tango would be an excellent supplement to their Spanish class, but does it really have to be at your house? Apparently, it does. But nothing scares off our DWTS Project Mom. She danced in her high school production of Grease in 1993. How hard could it be to teach tweens to tango? Clear out the living room, grab a rose and give it up for DWTS Project Mom because somehow she got those boys to dip the girls without the girls landing on the floor. Three “10s” for you!
Extreme Makeover Project Mom Who sez moms can’t hammer? Don’t let Extreme Makeover Project Mom let you hear that. She’s ready to oversee any large scale construction project that is science-related. She is, after all, the one who hangs the Christmas lights in the house. How hard can it be to wire a dollhouse for extra credit? She knows her way around the hardware store and how to keep 5th graders on task. Get that mom an orange apron.
Project Greenlight Project Mom Technology is great, isn’t it? Now kids have to write term papers about the Civil War and then turn them into 8 minute documentaries that they write, narrate, and edit themselves. Which is, for those of you beyond The Project Years, about ten times the amount of work that a plain old term paper required! Thanks, Freakin’ Ken Burns. But nobody loves a multi-media challenge more than Project Greenlight Project Mom. She understands the need to storyboard, how to use graphic to stretch the visuals and why a great soundtrack improves even a middle schoolers writing. There’s no Oscar for you, Project Greenlight Project Mom. But maybe an A-.
Breathe deeply, Project Moms. The semester break is almost here!
Embracing my Chaos, Lian