Chaos Chronicles 605: An Update and Many Thanks for your Kind Words:
Lian describes the last few months of her mother’s illness, death and funeral. A list of Lessons Learned and the To Do list for the rest of the year.
Last Friday, we celebrated the funeral mass for my mother Edna Klarman Dolan in my hometown of Fairfield, Connecticut. I can say with full confidence that she would have loved to have been there. The day was filled with family, old friends, memories and warmth, good food and lovely flowers and a touch of sadness mixed with the laughter. All the hallmarks of a Dolan family event.
I was humbled by the arrival of so many of my cousins from all over the country. High schools pals, college friends and cherished work colleagues took ferries, trains, taxis and planes to be there in support. Liz delivered a wonderful eulogy and the priest gave a comforting homily. My sister-in-law in Connecticut was a rock and all the other “in-laws’ stepped up, too. The few members left of my mother’s generation lent comfort and wisdom; my mother’s great grandchildren, Alice and Ben, added just the right amount of levity and perspective.
And, of course, there was a Honeybaked Ham.
A very public thank you to you all for your support, kind words and thoughtful deeds. I took the help when offered and I welcomed the thoughts and prayers when given. It’s advice I would pass onto to anyone in a similar situation. Now is not the time to be an independent. Interdependence is the way to go in certain situations. I’d like to say thank you, thank you, thank you for : the many meal deliveries, the sympathy cards, the beautiful flowers and rose bushes, the heartfelt Facebook and blog messages. Gratitude to the neighbors who minded the house while we were gone, and to the boys who delivered my Christmas tree on Saturday and my friend who delivered pancakes and blueberry syrup on Sunday.
This week, it’s time to get back to normal. I look forward to it. But I’ll never forget all your kindnesses.
Embracing my chaos, Lian
Related posts:
The Triumph of the Mashed Potato Bar
Edna Dolan’s Blueberry Muffins
{ 10 comments }
Lian, I’ve been thinking of you, your sisters, and your whole family. Know that we are all keeping you in our hearts during this difficult time. It sounds like a lovely service for your mom. Continue to accept all offers of food and help, and may you find peace in little ways in the months ahead. xo, Chris
Gorgeous picture. I remember how poignant and beautiful these moments were for my mother-in-law. I did some things that the children could not do during her ending and I was so grateful and filled with love to serve this amazing woman and her clan.
Lian,
I’m so glad the mass was a comforting way to love your mother out of this world and so glad you were surrounded by so many family members and friends.
Thank you for sharing your journey. You are teaching me so much–mostly how to be grateful and present in the lives of those we love.
Lian, your mother was there at the service on Friday. She was there in the hearts of everyone who knew and loved her. She was there in the smiles, the laughter, and the tears of her loved ones. She was there in the memories you hold dear and that will comfort you in the days ahead.
Thinking of you all every day. What a time you’ve all had. Glad you are accepting the kindnesses of others and continue to be kind to yourself.
We miss you, but take your time “coming back” — baby steps!
Dear Lian and sisters,
We are just finishing our honey baked ham which we bought the day your mother died. Next, we will have split pea soup from the remains.
I wish I could hear Liz’s eulogy; I know it must have been very touching.
I want to thank you, Lian, for keeping all of your devoted fans informed during this horrible year you all are experiencing. Your whole family is in my thoughts and prayers many times day and night.
Jane
Dear Lian – I cannot put into words the admiration I hold for you. Your ability to express yourself in such a meaningful way is to be envied.
I will continue to hold the Dolan family in my prayers as you all move into the spot of the older generation.
I am a relatively new Chaos Chronicles and Satellite Sister but have come to love you all.
Lian,
Thanks to you for letting us all be a support, whether it be virtually or with tangibles. The honey baked ham is ordered for Xmas, all in honor of Edna.
Much love,
Kristin
The Honey Baked Ham says it all ! Made me smile
{ 2 trackbacks }